Welcome
Welcome to my writing blog. It's a place to read and comment on things I have written. Click on the tab above of the story you want to read. Post comments on the appropriate blog topic below on this home page. Please be honest, but don't be an a-hole.
Ditch is the best one (unless Conquerors is much different from the version of it I read back in the day). It's best because the voice is the most genuine -- the most like your own. You have me charmed right from the beginning with "squintier" and "Rubbie-dubs." I've been reading a lot of my SIL Stephanie's stuff lately and the same suggestions come to mind when reading your work. TRUST YOURSELF. Let the art speak for itself and don't try to order it around with stage directions so much. Give the reader more credit and let him figure out the negative spaces. You're best lines seem to arise when you let go of the unfolding of the plot and let the character live and speak on their own.
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